Why I Love Peter

So, I was in a bit of a funk today, because God is confronting me about some stuff in my life, and I'm feeling very decisively that I don't want to do what's right (and incredibly scary for me). So this morning was spent avoiding doing anything of consequence, and generally sulking. It was only upon hearing an amazing song by Casting Crowns this afternoon that I started to realize what the issue was.

My relationship with my family is definitely strange, and sometimes even a little unhealthy, and God has been calling me on that lately, and it was upon hearing the song "Somewhere in the Middle" today that I realized how apt that is for me. Unfortunately for my state of mind, the first verse I always think of in conjunction with God and the middle is from Revelations where it says "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth" (Rev. 3:15-16 NIV).

It's not a pretty picture. One of my worst traits is not wanting to risk something by committing myself, and here is God, saying that it's better to be strongly opposed to him than to be lukewarm.

Thankfully for my mental state, this is where God entered in. I think that it was He who brought to mind the story of Jesus walking on water. this is the one where the disciples are on a boat, and Jesus walks across the water to them. While he is still coming towards them, they have a panic attack, mistaking him for a ghost, and when he identifies himself, Peter dares Jesus to call Peter himself out onto the water. And when Jesus does, Peter goes.

What amazing faith! When doubt comes about Jesus' identity, Peter's first thought is for the amazing things that Jesus can do. He knows that he can trust Jesus with his life in absolutely crazy circumstances, knows that only Jesus could do these things. And then when Jesus calls Peter steps out onto water with enough faith that it stays solid below him. This is definitely among the top demonstrations of faith in the bible.

Except that, then, Peter begins to sink. A few lines later, Jesus identifies the cause of the problem as doubt, and I can completely identify. i know in my head everything I've been taught about Jesus' perfect and good plan for me and the world and the Church, but sometimes, it feels like the rest of me is on rebellion. And Peter must have felt that way, too. But even in this time of stress, when Jesus has just invited him onto the apparently-precarious waves, Peter calls out for help from his Lord.

And Jesus saves him. Jesus pulls Peter out of the waves, scolds him for his doubt, and brings him back to the safety of the boat. And isn't that what he does with us? He didn't wait for Peter to have faith in him again before he saves him. "Immediately" after Peter called out, Jesus was there, explaining what went wrong and helping Peter fix it. And this is why I love Peter. Because God used him so that generation after generation of humans would know his compassion. God used Peter to show us His love.