Waiting II

I sit here staring at a computer waiting for words to come like they did last time. Why won’t they come? I am less in need now than then but if anything my lack of pain, the fact that there is not a knot in me, should not keep me from you and from expressing what I am feeling. Since when does being lukewarm get you nowhere? Oh. I guess you weren’t messing around when you told us the kingdom of heaven isn’t like earth. We see it through brown-colored glasses; the color of earth, because we know no other way to see. These glasses, they were attached at birth and we have yet to realize they are there. You have majesty in your hands for us and all we see is Earth. You show us yourself and we turn away. When did the creation become more interesting than the creator? When did Earth become the destination instead of the journey? Why am I sitting here, staring at a computer? It is not worthy of God, but even though I know that, I am no closer to figuring out why. I am no closer to you, and I’m not sure what to do about it. Because to be perfectly honest, whipping up some feelings, either end of passionate- it’s getting pretty old and I don’t know what I’ll do when it starts to get holes in it.